Transportation

I've used the Russian style train system now so many times and in a growing amount of countries that I thought I would share just what it is like traveling vast distances on these never dull carriages of intrigue before the magic wears off on me.

Let's begin with the first step of actually getting a ticket!

Pre-Departure
As with most cities in the Eastern Europe block the railway station (Vokzal - Вокзал) is usually a grand old building heaving with people no matter what hour, as they rush about with what seems like there life possessions to unknown destination.
Its inside here that the first challenge awaits; sometimes even long before the desired travel date.

No matter how many time I've done it my legs still shake nervously as I get closer to the counter in the seemingly halted line. I rehearse in my head over and over the name of the place, my pleases and thank-yous in Russian and get my flashcards sorted out (more on that latter) as that one lady who is about to serve you can make or break your journey. These ladies have to be some of the toughest I've come across as they yell and scream behind there enclosed booths to the rude and seemingly endless line of grumpy bodies that wait impatiently to be served.
As scary as they are I do have some compassion for there situation. From what I have gathered these ladies work upwards of 12 hours a day with an hour break for lunch in a booth no bigger than the average toilet with a limited air supply and dealing with a computer system from the 80's all while still having to manually cut and glue pieces of paper to various books. All of this on top of the fact that they are no doubt getting paid pittens and having to deal with some of the rudest people I have ever seen. I too would be a little bit agitated and angry.
Which brings me to the front of the extremely unorganized line, anyone that had been to Russia or it surround will know all too well about the "Russian Style" of lining up.
The shakes have evaporated and I am filled with confidence as any sign of weakness on the front line here is quickly pounced on. I have a method now which in 95% of cases works find and after ALOT of different ways and countless hours of queuing and re-queuing this is what seems to work the best.
Brimming ear to ear with a smile that would make even the hardest grouch crack a grin, I politely ask "Do you speak any English?", knowing forwell that she doesn't speak a word. This usually set the mood and get a lovely smile in return and an audience of laughter from the rest of the line.
With the response of "Net" (pron. Ny-et", a sturdy head shake or a grunt; all of which commence the fun and out come the flashcards.
I started making these this year and my god they have made a difference as before in Russia you would either need assistance to come actually come to the train station or spend countless minutes trying to explain it myself which usually ended up with her closing her booth in a angry mess and thus lighting the rage of the 20 or so people behind me who are already highly charged from waiting an hour already. This or yelling and screaming at me with what I can only assume are profanities followed by me being pushed aside and well ticketless and defeated till I start all over again at the next booth.

A bit of pre-preparation is the key. Working out you destinations spelling in the local alphabet is pretty much crucial to the whole ordeal and also what train you actually want to get, all of this is easily found on the departures board...easily confused with the arrivals board except departures are on the yellow one!. This along with the answers to what every ticket lady wants to know and so can be stuck on here window in an instant as I re-arrange the paper for the desired answer.
The whole process usually take around 5 minutes unless of course she throws the odd ball question in which case I flash all my answers or feed here the paper through the hole but it usually mean that that train is full.
For a foreigner who is prepared it take 5 minutes, This leaves the baffling question on why it takes the locals who know the system and speak the language on average 15 minutes MINIMUM each to get there tickets!!
Expect the whole process to take 1-2 hours, this is of course after you have found the right window as most ticket halls have at least 5, all of which sell different tickets at different time with different lunch breaks and if you are unfortunate enough to be behind someone with what appears to be vouchers, allow at least 30 minutes for the novelty of watching how the world worked before the arrival of computers. The craft set comes out as she cuts, glues, writes and tapes carious bit of paper into various books all after a lengthy phone call to what can only be assumed as "Head Office" and what appears to be an interrogation of said customer with vouchers. Priceless really.

On Board
Finding the platform, carriage and compartment is pretty straight forward and once you know how the ticket is laid out its all too easy as all of the CIS countries seem to have adopted the same system.
Depending on what country your in and even which service your on the train can have up to 3 classes, what class you end up in can all bit a bit hit-and-miss and come as a surprise when you board as the lady that issued your ticket might have bumped you up as there were no beds left or that class isn't even on that train!

1st Class
I have never had the delight of spending countless hours in a 1st class cabin, but have peeked into a few and seems basically the same as second class except there are only two beds and you get a lovely vase of plastic flowers. I wouldn't count on getting any better service though for a price of what is usually double the cost of the class below.

2nd Class (Rus. - Kupé)
This is what I usually go for as its normally a safe bet on actually getting a place and well I can never remember the word for 3rd class!
Kupé varies on different routs and am yet to figure out what the system is. For example; what you get in 2nd class on one route might be the same on another route but down in 3rd class...confused?! Your still in a closable cabin but with 4 beds and that's about it, if your lucky you might have a cabin with arctic temperature "air conditioning" piped into it. The cabin is about the width of 3 people standing and with 36 people in one carriage. Each carriage comes with its own set of "housekeepers" who let you on the train, make lovely cups of Chai, abruptly wake you up before your station to get off and arrange a playlist of Russian popular classical music for you to watch the world go by. These (generally) ladies are as from the same batch of cookies as the ones in the ticket office and put up with no nonsense at all; as we found out on our travels on the trans-Mongolian!
The toilet as with all the classes is...well an experience. Not quite down to the Indian standard of literally a hole in the floor but is best to get in early for two reasons. That roll of paper in there is all your going to get; once that's out. Tough luck! (I don't even think that paper rates as one-ply) The other is it can get messy in there real quick, so just hope your bed is at the other end of the carriage as you will be wafted to sleep by the smell of stale urine otherwise.

3rd Class (Rus. - Platzcart)
This class is my personal favorite and gives me a big grin every time. Unlike the previous classes, here the door is gone along with any privacy and 6 sleep to a compartment with the hallway running straight in between. Its quite hard to explain but if you get a chance sleep here....well if you can. Sleeping here can be quite difficult as the concofany of smells and noises envelopes your senses. Just imagine 54 people taking there shoes off, most arrive on board pissed and so pass out to join the orchestra of snoring vibrating through the carriage along with the constant murmurings of inaudible words.
No Chai is serves here, unless of course you bring your own. Your lucky enough to have running water in the toilet.

With all the classes you get a set of clean bed linen, a big squishy pillow to rest upon or under (depending on the noises of your fellow train mates) and sometime, just sometime you might get a pack of tissues to clear out that snotty nose caused by the arctic air conditioning.

Whatever class you choose if you do get a chance to take a trip on one of these train it will sure be an experience to remember.

Photos of carrage classes from "travel-2-ukraine.com"